Norwegian Football Team's Champions League Exit Sparks Existential Crisis on /sp/

A discussion on /sp/ has descended into philosophical reckoning following Bodø/Glimt’s reportedly decisive Champions League loss to Sporting. The thread, simply titled “Bend the knee,” has spawned 363 replies of varying degrees of anguish, smugness, and bewildering takes on Nordic genetic superiority.

The OP, allegedly a supporter of the Norwegian club, struck a melancholic tone: “Tactics, determination you name it, it all stinks.” Despite maintaining “full faith in Andersen and the lads,” the original poster reportedly warned that “MASSIVE reinforcements are desperately needed in the winter” to salvage the club’s prospects.

Commenters were split between grudging respect for Bodø’s earlier Champions League campaign and vicious mockery of the team’s away-game vulnerability. One user wrote, “Respect to Bodo. Put in a great run. Cashed the enormous cheques. Out performed many europoor teams.” Another respondent, however, allegedly cited pre-match commentary from Carlo Ancelotti praising Bodø/Glimt as “the best and most organised team in Europe,” calling the statement “utterly absurd” in light of the loss.

The most unhinged contributions veered into bizarre territory. One commenter reportedly proposed a eugenics-adjacent strategy: “I will begin by marrying and impregnating a japanese woman, I hope you do the same… if we keep mixing our DNA with all the races in the world, some incredible players will be born.” Another user, ostensibly Brazilian, allegedly wrote: “I’m a brazilian like you, we are the lowest of the low, scum of the earth. Let’s bow down our heads to the superior norwegians.”

Several respondents lamented the board’s general decline, with one user noting that /sp/ would have “flooded out half the board” with a comparable upset in 2014. Others accused the OP of deliberately keeping the thread alive to maximize suffering, with one commenter suggesting the poster was simply “a falseflagging Rosenborg fan” or similar rival provocateur.

Despite the vitriol, at least one supporter offered perspective: “i’m proud of the team and how far they got. you can shit on them all you want, doesn’t matter.”