Bath Salts Not To Blame For Miami Cannibal Attack

Speculation over the side-effects of bath salts causing users to turn into flesh-eatting zombies can finally be put to rest.

According to the Huffington Post, Rudy Eugene, the man who chewed off over 55% of a homeless mans face in Miami last month, did not have bath salts in his system after all. In fact, Rudy didn’t even have alcohol in his system. The only drug found in Rudy’s blood was marijuana!

So does that mean marijuana can turn your everyday stoner into a flesh-eatting zombie?

Not so fast says one fancy smart guy:

“The problem today is that there is an almost an infinite number of chemical substances out there that can trigger unusual behavior,” said Dr. Bruce Goldberger, Professor and Director of Toxicology at the University of Florida.

“…The challenge today for the toxicology lab is to stay on top of these new chemicals and develop methodologies for them, but it’s very difficult and very expensive.” Goldberger said. “There is no one test or combination of tests that can detect every possible substance out there.”

Whew! That. Was. Close.

So there is a possibility that these strange new street drugs, like bath salts, could actually cause this crazy horrific behavior after all.

Honestly, people should just have fun the old fashioned way: alcohol. I’ve never heard of someone turing into a flesh-eatting zombie from shooting back a jager bomb or two. Am I right?

Crazy.

Toxicology report shows Rudy Eugene did not have balt salts in his system during cannibal attack in Miami.